You read about someone who sent money to a person they had never met and think: surely there were signs. You would have asked questions. You would have known.

Now imagine how it might unfold in your own life.

You start chatting to someone on a dating app. You are careful at first. You ask what they do, where they live and why they are single.

The answers seem reasonable. They ask about you too, and remember what you tell them.

Over the next few weeks, the conversation becomes part of your day. They ask how your appointment went. They remember that something was worrying you at work. You begin looking forward to their messages.

You make plans to meet. Work gets in the way, so you agree to another date. It is disappointing, but people have complicated lives.

Then they need help. Something unexpected has happened, and they cannot cover the cost. They promise to pay you back.

You hesitate. You know about scams.

But you have been speaking to this person for weeks. You have shared things with them. They have been there when you needed someone to talk to.

From the outside, it looks like sending money to a stranger. From where you are sitting, it can feel like helping someone you are building a future with.

Romance scammers deliberately build that familiarity, sometimes over months. Capitec describes how regular attention can make a financial request feel believable long before a victim realises the relationship was manufactured.

Being sensible with money does not make you immune to manipulation. You can know the warnings and still struggle to connect them to someone you have come to trust.

Watch for these signs

• Affection comes unusually quickly. Intense attention, sometimes called love bombing, can rush your trust.
• They push for private chats. They want to move to WhatsApp almost immediately.
• Their story is difficult to check. They ask personal questions but share little about themselves.
• Meeting never happens. Visits or video calls repeatedly fall through.
• Money enters the conversation. They need emergency help, offer to invest your savings or ask to use your bank account.

Moving to WhatsApp alone does not establish a scam. Look at the behaviour as a whole, especially when affection becomes financial pressure. 

A convincing voice is not proof

In March 2026, Standard Bank warned that criminals were using AI-generated voices and deepfake content in impersonation scams.

How believable someone sounds or looks should therefore be only one part of checking who they are.

Keep yourself safer

• Take your time. You do not have to match someone else’s pace.
• Talk it through. Show a trusted friend any requests that concern you.
• Meet in public. Tell someone where you are going.
• Keep money separate. Do not send money to someone you have only known online or follow their investment instructions.
• Protect your accounts. Never share PINs, passwords or OTPs, or receive and forward money for them.

These precautions follow Capitec’s fraud guidance and Yima’s safety advice.

If you have already paid

• Call your bank immediately through its official channels.
• Stop contact with the suspected scammer and save messages and payment records.
• Report the profile to the dating platform and fraud to SAPS.
• Report the scam through Yima or call 083 123 7226.
• If your identity details were compromised, contact SAFPS on 011 867 2234 about its free Protective Registration service.

The Bottom Line

You can enjoy getting to know someone and still decline a financial request. A new relationship does not require access to your savings, and caring about someone does not mean you owe them a payment.